my ex-best friends came into my class to pass out a survey.
the ones who rejected and abandoned me, and threw me into a dark place for a few months.
i..hadn’t had direct contact with them since january.
it was really just…really hard for me.
my teacher came up to me afterwards, and since we’re like, writing poems and stuff
she hugs me tight and says
“how about you write a better future for yourself”
so i did.
The sun will shine for me.
I’ll have friends who say “Hey Amelia, you’re different and I think that’s wonderful.”
Maybe even there would be someone who thinks I’m amazing enough to hold and to care for and watch Disney movies in a pillow fort with me and kiss my face and tell me I’m one in a million.
Because I am, I am, I am.
I love who I am, but the future, the future.
The future is full of other people who will love who I am too.
Who will ask me to come over when their girlfriend or boyfriend broke up with them, so I can comfort them and so we could eat ice cream and watch stupid movies together.
Who seek me out, who smile when I say something funny and they have that little twinkle in their eyes and that genuine, genuine warmth in their heart that means “I’m so glad I met you.”
Who I can turn to when I’m feeling down, friends who will pick me up and carry me high out of the sea of my own self-hate and pity so I can see how amazing the world is, how much potential each new day brings.
This will all happen one day, soon soon soon.
I’ll know it when I feel that weight lifted off my shoulders, when I can breathe in fresh air that isn’t clogged by worries of others perception of me, when my heart lifts up and says “Wow, you made it. You’re amazing.”
When the sun shines for me.